Parenting

I've been in the midst of a discussion regarding parenting and gender roles. I'm no expert but here's my two cents.

It seems to me that we have spent the last couple decades railing against something that never existed. The only place that the Leave It to Beaver world ever existed was on Television. There was never a time when only the women did the work in the home. It has always been a family job, maybe more so in the past when families were one wage earner places and kids pitched in to help.

The past few decades it seems like every time a woman does something domestic, feminists are ready to pounce and denounce the backward step for women. Women are not supposed to work in the home, they are supposed to have a career. By the way, men are supposed to have a career too. Raising children gets left out. Children get in the way of careers for men and women and we end up with kids growing up without parents because society does not value parenthood.

When are we going to wake up and realize that our kids are being shortchanged in this argument over something that never existed except in the TV world.

The other statement I hear that drives me nuts is the statement that women "shortchange" themselves by quitting work to raise a family and lose income later in life. The women that do this are portrayed as losers. Not one person talks about how families are richer when a parent stays home. Not one person talks about the loss of parenting when both parents are working outside the home. Single parent families have it even tougher.

Our society is not willing to honestly look in the mirror and see what we are doing to children. We leave them out and treat them as annoyances rather than the responsibility they are to us.

I Passed my test

I passed my state test for volunteer firefighting today (12/9/06). Now I can be more involved in accident and fireground activities, including SCBA use. I'm pumped and excited to get more involved.

Tough day

Got called to a vehicle accident today. The dispatcher said the driver was trapped in the car. By the time I got there with the crew in the heavy rescue, it was obvious the driver wasn't just trapped, he was also dead. My first clue was the fact that the vehicle was hooked to a tow truck and the tow truck driver was working to unwrap the car from the tree with the driver still in it. If the guy had been alive, we would have cut the car open just as it sat.

It's not fun to work on a situation like this. It's down right ugly and reminds me of the fragility of life. This guy was cruising down the road one second and the next he was dead, his car wrapped around a tree. It was not icy but we have had heavy rain here for the last couple days and the ground was already saturated. It appeared the driver tried to go through a puddle at 60 mph or so and hydroplaned, lost control and flipped over and over until stopped by the tree.

Slow down and be careful.

December Newsletter article

Here is my December church newsletter article.

Merry Christmas

So the title isn’t so original, but I can’t help it. Once in a while, I have to be predictable so the unpredictability doesn’t become predictable. I’ll pause for a moment to let you chew on that one.

It’s good to sit back and really let things sink in or they do become old hat. Times like Christmas can get that way. We always get together with family and we always open our presents at certain times and we always go to Christmas Eve worship and we always sit in the same place. Have you just sat and wondered about how we got to where we are?

There are times when the routines just don’t work anymore. Christmas can bring out the best and the worst for families. It is often the hardest time for widows and widowers as they adjust to life without their spouse. Estrangements hit especially hard when one sees the happiness on the faces of families brought together in celebrations. There is no Hallmark greeting for those situations.

I just received an email, one of those mass forwards, from my aunt in Texas. It was a listing of definitions of love according to kids. Way down at the bottom was a story about author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia who once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

It’s easy at this time of year to avoid the people and places that seem to be the opposite of the “spirit” of the season. I think we avoid these situations because we don’t know what to say or do. This Christmas, the greatest gift I have received comes from a nameless four year old that showed me what to do. The greatest gift this Christmas can be “nothing, I just helped him cry.”

How I spent my Saturday

I spent Saturday, 11/18/06 with a few of my friends. That's me on the left sitting on the ground.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving in the USA. I just completed my annual self abuse ritual watching the Detroit Lions get beat on Thanksgiving Day. I remember as a kid at least looking forward to Thanksgiving because it was one day my favorite team, the Detroit Lions, actually played well. How a team can be so consistantly awful in a league that prides itself on parity is beyond me. Year after year the Lions seem to have the worst players. They can't make any improvements, especially over the last several years. I would blame the current management, like everybody else, but this goes a whole lot deeper. It must, because it doesn't seem to matter who coaches or who is the GM, they are always bad. There's a lesson in here somewhere, I'm just not sure where.

Firefighting and being a pastor

I've just joined the local fire department and I'm just about done with my training preparing to take my state test. One of the first things we talked about was the mission of the fire service. The first and most important mission is life safety, that is, life safety of the fire fighters and other responders.

It's not that we are not supposed to care about victims of accidents and fires, it's that we are not responsible for the situation they find themselves in. It does no one any good to have a dead firefighter and a dead victim. No one is saved. Safety is our first priority. What firefighters do is dangerous enough without people running around doing something stupid.

It hit me the other day that an effective pastor has to have the same attitude and priority. Life safety has to be the top of the list for pastors. Pastors are not responsible for the messes in people's lives, we have to take care of ourselves in order to be able to take care of others. It's a thought in process. But I like the analogy.

Now I've hit the big time

Rick over at Brutally Honest has placed me in his list of offspring. He and I have posted a few times at Desperate Preacher in the discussion board. He's a pretty good guy. We don't always agree, but I never have to guess what he is thinking. If you have come here from Brutally Honest, welcome. I'm not quite as prolific as Rick, but I try.

Quite a while ago, Rick encouraged me to start a Blog. I started but then chickened out. I finally got the nerve to do this about a month ago and just started posting things I've written for my congregation and random thoughts.

Elections

I don't know about you, but I'm glad the election is over here in the USA. It will be interesting to see how things turn out with Democrats in charge in the House and as of this writing the possiblity of Democrats in charge in the Senate. It might not be all bad to have a divided government.

On a local level, my community just passed a tax levy fo the school district. It passed by just 46 votes out of 4166 cast. Don't ever let it be said that your vote doesn't count. Sometimes it's close. I hope that in a divided community over the tax that we can work together to educate our kids. I know there are some people who are upset over the passage of the tax. Can those who were for it let it go and those against continue to be involved in the process of education?

As a Christian, I'm committed to staying involved in the process. Jesus was and is very involved in the issues of the day. Just read the Gospels when he eats with outcasts and challenges leaders to practice justice rather than just religion. Here in the USA, I can't just blame it on the government because I am the government as a voter. It'll be fun to watch and participate.

The second year

I am now in my second year as a pastor and boy is it different than the first. Last year at this time I felt bored with not enough to do. This year, I meet myself coming and going. Some of it is my own doing, some of it I've let be done to me, and the rest of it I guess is the reality of full time ministry with a family of five.

I'm not complaining. If I wasn't busy, then I know ministry wouldn't be happening. The struggle is finding the balance between ministry and family life. Doors are opening for our congregation and for myself as pastor and the hard part is choosing which doors to enter and which have to be left unexplored. I'm always afraid I'll miss something or the congregation will miss something. It's hard to trust that God is directing the paths when there are so many of them to choose from.

I'm drawn to Ecclesiates 3 and the idea that there is a time for everything. A couple months ago, my wife and I signed up for a weekend retreat for rural and small town pastors and their families. At the time, I signed up because the workshops sounded interesting. Now, I'm looking forward to the retreat. God surely does have a way of putting us in the right places.

Creative God

I often compare the art of sermon writing to professional atheltics. No one cares about yesterday, they want to know what you have today. Last weeks sermon is just a memory and this week people come expecting something new. In the process of writing one more newsletter article, I gave in and this is what came out.

Some days, I just look at my computer, hoping God will supernaturally possess the chips and circuits and a newsletter article and four sermons would pop out. It’s a hope and a prayer born out of panic and frustration more than any real need for God to write an article for the newsletter. If God really wanted to write the newsletter article, do you think he would need to use my computer?

Now and then writing just becomes hard. The creative process doesn’t follow any schedule and doesn’t come up on demand. It has to be nurtured and cultivated. There is real work that goes into keeping ideas floating around in your head.

I know, I know, I just said a bad word: work. We Lutherans are suspicious of that word. We rightly believe that our salvation and our standing with God is by Grace through Faith. Luther himself in his explanation to the third article of the Apostle’s Creed in the Small Catechism says “I believe that by my own understanding or strength I cannot believe in Jesus Christ my Lord or come to him….”

That’s true. And it is also true that just like the creative process, we have to be open and ready to hear and receive the gift of Jesus Christ and his new life. We have to be listening and ready to answer the call of God. We have to be vigilant in looking for God’s voice.

Because you know, God could take over my computer or your computer one day and spit out a crystal clear message for our lives. Or God could call on the phone in the voice of a neighbor wanting to go out for coffee just to talk. Or God could be working the fields with you.

Dr. Kevin Anderson, a marriage counselor from Toledo, calls this divinity in disguise. All around us, God is dwelling in the people we meet and the situations we find ourselves. It can be tiring and frustrating listening and looking for God because God comes up like the creative process, when and where he feels like it.

As we enter into this time of Thanksgiving and Christmas, the sounds and calls will be loud all around us. Some of them will be God’s call and some will not. Be ready to listen and look for God in unexpected places over the next couple of months. The wait and the search can be long but it is never fruitless. Are you ready?

Welcome to my little corner

I'm a Lutheran Pastor in Ohio who is trying out blogging to share thoughts and ideas as they come to me. I've never been one to journal so this will be a place for me to think out loud and share what's on my mind. I tend to process things in stages, so where I begin may not be where I end up. I look forward to sharing with you.